He said, “Well the first hour or so in the morning, my legs are shaky and weak from the nerve thing so that worries me. Then I’ll have my coffee in the backyard and think of the problems that need solving and I try not to throw up. Then after the kid is delivered to school and I’m back at the desk I wonder if my mind or body is going to just pull the plug. How much more before I take a heart attack, or stroke, or my brain just explodes in an aneurism?”